Discovering yourself.


I cud feel the chill on my left arm, and the cold seemed to tingle my skin, piercing the already tired n stressed muscles  on the return journey after a short adventure camp in the higher mediate ranges of the world’s largest mountain range, the himalayas. The cold seemed to be growing even more as we descended the heights of the mountains and as the bus moved frm one side to another on the spiral roads etched on different mountains, all I cud see outside my window was the unfamiliar shades of green ,that I hardly see back home. The cold was growing unbearable, all thanks to my summer suited attire. Seeing these high reached trees, I cud swear I felt a relief more comforting than the sunlight after a never ending winter. And there was more to this satisfaction than just my fascination fr these mountains, and nature. I cud swear I was at peace after these four days with my scoolmates nd friends.
Not because it gave me a break from all the school course and the tension of completing everything on time , or how everything would turn out at the end of this final year, getting into a good college and mostly the burden of studies. Although that was definitely a considerable reason, but also because this trip gave me a more clear idea of who I am as a person and what people around me think about it. Over time, we all might have heard this that you get to know yourself only when you spend time with yourself, leisure time , you know. And as a matter of fact we have come to believe this philosophical notion, even if we dont have any resemblance to it. And we might end up thinking that knowing oneself has something to do with how much you think about how you feel about things, emotions , people. Digging out the truth, these ideas , or rather perceptions exist only  in the works of nature poets, where the protagonist sits by the river or near the cornfield observing the beauty around , and clearly ‘declaring’ how deep his thoughts about life are. This picture has been ebbed onto our minds from quite some time, like a poster put up on a wall, and thats the reason that each time we go for a walk alone, down the hills or in the meadow or a park ,we cant help but picture ourselves having some leisure time all by ourselves, wherein we are getting to know ourselves better with each step we take or each moment that passes by. This was exactly what was happening with me on the trip that I had referred to earlier, and thus I know how hard it would be to remove this poster and put up a new one on the mind walls of the readers.
During the three days of our stay, I often confronted some feelings of loneliness, or felt left out and I took those opportunities to sneak out from the group and wander off by myself in the hope that I would figure out what was happening with me. But, to no gain. Rather staying alone only made me think how better off everyone was without me. And thats when I figured out that this is what will come to your mind each time  you let it intrude your thoughts. Staying alone , does not help you recognize the person you are, it just gives you more time to think about the vaguely impossible possibilities of how you could be, of how things could have been. And that doesnt get you anywhere.  Trust me.
I’ll tell you how it is then. Humans are social animals. And this implies to the act of self realisation as well. When you are in a group , any sort of group..friends, family , colleagues.. you come across different views, different ideas of the world. And when you do that, you link yourself to certain qualities or details of how you can be, or how you could possibly overcome the situations , the loneliness you are dealing with. And thats how you move a step ahead in the process of self recognition.
That day , I got back to my friends , and we chatted and laughed our heads off, and thats when I knew that the only time you are not wanted, is when you dont wish to be wanted yourself. And wen this thought comes to your mind, you should return to the crew as soon as possible. Because besides the cheering and the support ,they let you discover more about yourself. And with so little time left in our lives all the time , who will be stupid enough to miss out on the precious moments with people for just a lonely while alone?
So to end it, discover more,learn more, enjoy the pack and stay in It.
Be curious about yourself, but dont wander into nothingness out of the curiosity. Because that could be one treacherous thing to do.

Radhika Sharma